Mike's Long, Depressing Summer

From a life perspective, this has probably been the best summer of my life. I finally have a job, the Cubs are not as bad as I expected (still bad), I finally got around to getting Netflix (watching it as I speak), and I have not broken anything at my new job yet. From a sports standpoint?

Awful.

Pitiful.

Depressing.

Disappointing.

Catastrophic.

I could think of many other words to describe how this half year in sports feels to me, but none of them truly show how I really feel. The Cubs are cellar dwellers, and things do not exactly seem to be looking up, depending on what they can get for Dempster and Garza. The Sox are having their best year since 2005, making the local sports stations unbearable to listen to or watch, with all their nut-riding. The Bulls... I cannot talk about this without tearing up(Neither can Derrick's ACL). Fact of the matter is, Derrick Rose could be out for a very long time, and even when he gets back, it will not be the same. Korver is gone, Watson is gone, Asik is probably gone. The Bulls are going into next season with Captain Kirk penciled in as the starting point guard, random old guy #3959 at shooting guard, and who the hell knows if Deng will still be in Chicago by the time the season starts. The only sure things are Joakim and Boozer, and Scal. I know, Scal alone can win us a ring, but I am worried about getting him more help. Dwight Howard will not be the answer. I am not sure about him anymore, not with the drama that he has caused in Orlando.

Now, I would be all for the Bulls signing a few young free agents. I have always been a fan of Terrence Williams, despite him being, as most players on the Sacremento Kings were last year, a black hole on offense. But I really feel that Thibs could turn his career around, and turn an insanely athletic swingman into one of the better defenders into the league. Thibs seems to have that kind of effect on players. There goes my only real idea for the Bulls.

It is way too hot outside, and I have most of this week off, so by all means, anyone who is reading this, get at me and talk to me. I really need to be writing more often.

 

Mike's Postseason Roundup and Ramblings

I'm typing this as I watch Game 1 of the NBA Finals. It's the 4th quarter with 2 minutes left, and here are some of the things that have crossed my mind while watching.


-Watching the Heat right now is painful. I really do feel bad for them. They look old. Lebron looks old, Wade looks elderly, it's just crazy. They aren't that old. They look exactly how the Spurs should have looked. They better pick it up. As much as I hate the Heat, I am a fan of the game, and I want 7 games of good basketball.

-Durant looks amazing tonight. So does Westbrook. However, I do not appreciate hearing about how much better Westbrook is than Rondo. This just is not true. I have never watched Westbrook and thought about him as a once in a lifetime player. He is no such thing. He is yet another incarnation of the Allen Iverson/Steve Francis/Stephon Marbury/Baron Davis/Derrick Rose evolutionary line. I love watching Westbrook play, but Rondo brings things to the table that I cannot even begin to explain. 


-One thing I love about the Thunder is the thing I hate about the Bulls: free throws. The Thunder make their free throws! It is amazing to watch! Derrick Rose may be clutch, but when it comes to finishing from the line, he is worse than Lebron, and deserves the heckling that Lebron gets. The difference is in the way that Rose carries himself. Rose will work hard to fix his faults. The same thing cannot be stated about Lebron.


-15 points in the 4th for Durant? That's impressive. He really is in a great position to rule the next decade. I look forward to watching it. I'm hoping Nikola Mirotic is some sort of God-send. I don't see the Bulls ever getting passed the Thunder without some sort of divine intervention.


-In my opinion, the Spurs were the most dangerous team throughout the entire NBA during the playoffs, and the fact that the Thunder were able to take care of them shows me that they should be able to handle a some-what more divided and less balanced Heat team. That said, I am not underestimating the Heat. I know of the damage that Lebron and Wade can and will do throughout the series. I'm hoping for a classic 7 game series. That is not what game 1 seemed to foreshadow, but things can change. The score is still going to be 0-0 at the start of game 2. 


-How much can it take for Spo to get canned? They'd be better off with Vinny Del *gets shot*

TV Show Characters = NBA Players?

Recently, an article written by Grantland's "The Masked Man" (David Shoemaker) caught my attention. He was creating comparisons between NBA players and WWE Superstars (not wrestlers, damn it! [this is sarcasm]). The idea for the article was solid at best, but the execution was greatly flawed. No disrespect to him, I usually enjoy his writing, but this piece was not impressive in the least. However, it did give me a great idea. Instead of comparing the NBA and WWE, how about I do something a little bit bigger? How about comparing NBA players to some TV characters? The moment I came up with this topic, I immediately thought of several comparisons.

Lebron and Dwyane Wade = The 2 Gay Guys from Modern Family

Just kidding.

Lebron = Spongebob Squarepants

No. Really. He is. Stop laughing! Think about it. When Spongebob first showed up, he was loved by many and hated by few. After many seasons, Spongebob is rarely funny, and the children that once loved him have grown up, and now despise him in the newer episodes. Doesn't that sound like Lebron? Everyone loved him when he first came into the league. Then progressively as his career went on, he started to garner a lot of hate. If that does not sound like Spongebob, I do not have a clue as to what does.

Kobe = Will Smith in Fresh Prince

Kobe reminds me of watching the Fresh Prince re-runs every morning as I get ready for school; he has been doing it for so long, its like watching re-runs. And I love it every time. When all is said and done, Kobe will not be considered the greatest of all time; there is no surpassing MJ; but he will be considered the greatest Laker of all time, and he will be a top 2 player. He refuses to slow down, just like Fresh Prince is still funny to me, 16 years after it got canceled. Even more of a coincidence? Kobe entered the league at the same time Fresh Prince got canceled. I am a genius.

Dwyane Wade = Jerry Seinfeld

Wade has not been as great as he normally is this season, but people keep waiting and watching for him to return to that mode he always gets in. This is similar to Seinfeld. Did anyone watch Seinfeld because it was funny? Probably not. They watched it because everyone knew Jerry Seinfeld had the potential to be funny, just like people watch Wade because he has the potential to methodically destroy any team.

Derrick Rose = Aang

For those of you who don't remember Avatar: The Last Airbender, it was a show that started coming on around the time I entered junior high, got postponed because Nickelodeon thought it might be too violent for children, then came back on 2 years later on a satellite only channel that I do not get. So, it did take me awhile to finish the series, but the similarities between Derrick Rose and Aang, especially this postseason, are uncanny. What makes me think of these two as similar? At the beginning of the show, Aang shows up unexpectedly, the savior of a war-torn world. Who expected the Bulls to get Derrick Rose? Aang meets up with Katara (Joakim Noah) and Sokka (Luol Deng). This sounded better in my head. Hell, you can even make the argument that the Heat are similar to the Fire Nation, with Lebron being Azula and Wade being Ozai. I miss this show. Luckily, there's a new season of it! Your welcome, Nickolodeon, I just informed my readers (all 2 of them) about your new show. That's free advertising. Consider us even.

San Antonio Spurs = The Big Bang Theory

Only the educated will enjoy watching them.

Stephen A. Smith = Eric Cartman

Seriously, nobody likes you. Go away. You make Skip Bayless' arguments make sense. Screaming does not make your point.

Watching Erik Spoelstra Coach is Unbearable

How does a man like Erik Spoelstra get a job? Has a team ever won with a doormat of a coach? Honestly, there were, and still are, better options for a coach. But who cares about that? They have the ever-wonderful superstars Lebron James and Dwyane Wade! That should be enough to conquer the lowly Pacers, right? Wrong.

The case has been the same for the Heat all season: when Lebron can take over, they are unstoppable. This comes to no surprise. He is, after all, the best player in the world currently. When do the Heat lose? Its when an up and coming coach like Frank Vogel outcoaches Erik Spoelstra. This should surprise no one. I knew Spoelstra was a bad choice to begin with. He was a video coordinator. That's the same job I did for a high school team my junior year. That means absolutely nothing to me, that he did the same for an NBA team. (I guarantee you, his commentary was not nearly as entertaining. My topics ranged anywhere from actually talking about the game (when they were playing a close game) to Pokemon (when they were getting blown out) to other things that are unrelated to basketball)

The reason I feel so strongly about Spoelstra is the fact that he is just an awful coach. If he was coaching my kid's high school team I would be worried. He obviously cannot handle egos, and that is what high school coaching is: handling egos. This man is coaching a professional basketball team that features two players who are as arrogant as any high school student. I personally know adult coaches that could do a better job of handling people like Lebron and Wade. As an aspiring coach (and journalist), watching Spoelstra is painful. If these are the guys that are getting the big jobs, where does that leave me? Hell, where does that leave the potentially great coaches that actually have gone to school in order to coach high school ball (and P.E.)? I know dozens of coaches throughout this area just from watching my high school team from the bench. There are a few of them that leave my head scratching. Teams with all the athletic ability and skill in the world, just not a good enough coach to win. And then I see coach Spo.

He looks frightened; like a car salesman who finds out he needs to sell a Ferrari to someone who thinks the dealership will take his Link card to keep his job. Coaching frightened is something that will never work. Phil Jackson is known as the Zen Master; he does not get rattled, he does not get frightened. He does the job he needs to do. Spo just doesn't! Besides, any NBA coach that believes the "zone offense" is actually a zone offense needs to be replaced immediately. Pat Riley needs to find a new coach immediately; the Heat will not succeed with Spo. There is also a good possibility that they cannot succeed with Dwyane Wade, but that is a story for another time.

PS: I should not have linked to Bl00dblitz, my night is now gone.

Song of the Day: Dropkick Murphys- Never Alone

Lebron Hate Is Too Extreme

I get it, I'm not suppose to like Lebron. I'm a Bulls fan, he plays for the Heat. That's cool. But honestly, why hate him? Because The Decision was possibly my generation's Kennedy Assassination? Because he left a team that has a well-documented history of having a terrible owner and a terrible GM? A team that had one of the worst coaches in the league? (Sorry, Lakers fans, I really feel for you there. Shaw's looking really good right now, ain't he?) Lebron may have not made the right decision in going to Miami. Dwyane Wade looks more broken down every time I see him. Chris Bosh is streaky, and can be fantastic at times, but his play can be absolutely deplorable at times. What else does the Heat have? James Jones? Mike Miller? Mario Chalmers has improved, but he definitely should not be their answer to play point guard. Spoelstra might be a worse coach than Mike Brown! But despite all of these things, Lebron turns this team into a legitimate title threat. Without him, they aren’t nearly as dangerous. They just aren’t.

It even seems like Lebron is beginning to understand all of this. Recently, he talked about a possible return to Cleveland. I know, it doesn’t mean much, but he talked about it, and that’s what matters. Besides, listen to the way he talks about players around the league. You can question his heart, you can question his confidence, but you cannot question that this guy tries his hardest to think the best of the other guys around the league. Ever hear him talk about Derrick Rose? He sounds like he’s the little brother trying to get acknowledged. And he doesn’t just do that with D-Rose. I’ve heard him do it with Kobe, Kevin Durant, Steve Nash (who knows? Maybe the Heat’s point guard next year. By the way, if he is, I want them to win. Steve deserves a ring.), and several other players around the league. He wants to be accepted. He wants to be loved. And it just isn’t happening.

Everywhere I read online is full of people bashing Lebron, saying how he quits, saying he’s a jackass, saying he’s this, saying he’s that. I don’t think he’s a quitter. In fact, the numbers show he isn’t. Sure, I have come up with a LOT of 4^th quarter jokes, but it’s all in good fun, I have no extreme amount of hate for him. I do find his “celebration” party at the beginning of his first Heat season ridiculous and unforgiveable, but you have to remember: Lebron has the mentality of a child. He wants to be accepted, he wants to be like everyone else. His mind isn’t built like MJ’s, Larry’s, Magic’s, or even Clyde Drexler’s. The only player I can think of that had a similar mentality was Chris Webber. Lebron is never going to develop a killer instinct because he won’t need one. Dwyane Wade has it, he’s the guy who will take the last shot. People can get upset all they want that Lebron doesn’t want the last shot, but he doesn’t need to take it, so why should he? Maybe once Dwyane Wade retires, Lebron will understand. Honestly, the way Lebron gets run ragged throughout the season, I’m more worried about him turning into an extremely rich man’s Grant Hill. Please hope I’m wrong. I hate the Heat, but I don’t want to be robbed of the chance to see a once in a lifetime player. Hate the Heat, don’t hate Lebron.

Boston Celtics All Time Team Series

Boston Celtics

PG Dennis Johnson
SG Sam Jones
SF Larry Bird
PF Kevin McHale
C Bill Russell

6th John Havlicek
7th Bob Cousy
8th Robert Parish
9th Paul Pierce
10th Rajon Rondo
11th Tommy Heinsohn
12th Antoine Walker

Dennis Johnson

There’s a very big reason that I have 3 players in the starting lineup from the 86 Celtics: they were arguably the greatest team of all time. Why change anything? DJ was a great defender, a serviceable scorer, and a pretty good passer. He gets the nod over Cousy and Rondo solely because of the chemistry he would already have with Larry Bird and Kevin McHale.

Sam Jones

Sam Jones is one of those guys that I know very little about, but I know enough about him to know that he’s an all time great. He was a great scorer for his time and a good fit with Bill Russell.

Larry Bird

If I were to make this list and leave Larry off of it, I would be a laughing stock. And I would deserve to be. He’s a top 5 player all time, and the greatest player in Celtics history, unless you want to make the Bill Russell argument. Great scorer, great passer, he’s a man who truly revolutionized the game.

Kevin McHale

This man had some of the best footwork and best post moves of any player ever, along with being a good defender. He’s a perfect compliment to Larry, and I could see him and Bill Russell being an awesome duo to watch together.


Bill Russell

One of the greatest of all time. He won 8 (eight!!!!) rings as a player, and he’s known as one of the greatest rebounders ever. He was an elite defender, and his showdowns with Wilt Chamberlain are legendary. Bill was truly an amazing player for his time.

Bench:

PG: Rondo and Cousy are too very good backups. I really wanted to start Cousy, but I could not justify it. He played in a broken era, and wasn’t what I would consider dominant. Rondo didn’t get the nod mostly because there are rumors of him being a headcase. With his play as of late though, he could easily change my mind and make me look dumber than I already look.

SG/SF: Paul Pierce and Hondo will have to man these two slots, as I could not find anyone I could deem deserving of these two spots. Both players are great scorers. Antoine Walker is there only for a spark. In his prime, he was a player that would definitely help this team a lot.

PF/C: This team is DEEP at these 2 positions. Russell, Parish, Heinsohn, and Walker? 3 of those are Hall of Famers, and one of them is a coke dealer! Sounds like the winning formula in my book.

All Time TEAM Series

The Chicago Bulls

PG Derrick Rose
SG Michael Jordan
SF Scottie Pippen
PF Horace Grant
C Artis Gilmore

6th F Bob Love
7th F Toni Kukoc
8th SG Reggie Theus
9th SF Luol Deng
10th PG Kirk Hinrich
11th C Joakim Noah
12th C Tom Boerwinkle

Summary:

You would think the Bulls would be an easy all time team to do. They have to of the greatest players of all time in MJ and Scottie, then they have one of the biggest stars of today in Derrick Rose. Horace Grant made the starting lineup because with him in there, nobody scores on this starting lineup. The only defender there worse than “elite” is Derrick Rose, and he is definitely a serviceable defender in his own right. The bench is where things get a little sketchy. The forward position is strikingly strong until you realize that of the 3 forwards on the bench, one of them was a shoot-first-defend-later Bob Love, whose PER never peaked 17, while the others are the notoriously soft Toni Kukoc and the always-defending and always-streaky Luol Deng. That said, beyond that, the only major hole is at backup point guard, but that happens when a team has had all of one elite point guard throughout their long and illustrious history.

Player-by-Player Analysis:

Derrick Rose

This is a player that I have been watching since he was in college. I’d be lying if I said I knew he’d be a Bull from his days in Memphis. The Bulls were a fringe playoff team without a hope of getting a top pick in the lottery, until the unthinkable happened: they actually won the lottery with a 2.7% chance to get the number one pick. At the time, the decision between D-Rose and Michael Beasley seemed like a tough one, but now, it seems that Derrick was the obvious choice. Beasley has turned into a burnout who is the bud of many “getting high” jokes around plenty of NBA fans, and Derrick Rose is now an MVP. Rose’s career has taken off fast. He won his first MVP at age 22, becoming the youngest MVP in NBA history. He has never seen his PER dip below the average of 15, and has improved his scoring drastically with each season, unless the current season is counted. This year, he has been injured very often, although he should be returning soon.

Michael Jordan

What else is there to be said? The man is the greatest of all time. He led the league in scoring an astounding 11 times, he won the MVP award 5 times in the regular season, and won the Finals MVP award for each of his 6 rings. He is regarded as one of the best perimeter defenders of all time, and was able to put up a career points-per-game average of 30.1. I don’t need to argue for Jordan, but I know somebody who has never seen him play will argue his vulnerabilities with me.

Scottie Pippen

Any list that has MJ on it has to have Scottie Pippen on it. Scottie IS the best defender of all time, and he was a great offensive player too. Those two years Jordan took off to play baseball? Yeah, Scottie carried those teams. Scottie was legit.

Horace Grant

It was debatable as to which team Horace should have been placed on, but he fits in perfectly with the style that this Bulls team would play on defense, and he’s not so inept on the offensive side that he’d be useless like Joakim Noah can be at times.

Artis Gilmore

I can honestly say I do not know much about him, I was unable to watch him play due to him playing in the 70’s. But what I do know about him is that he could score well, as he averaged 18 ppg throughout his career, and 24 ppg a few times. He also averaged 12 rebounds per game throughout his career. That is quite an impressive number. He was also a prolific shot blocker, averaging 5 blocks per game during his rookie season in the ABA. 5 blocks per game! I find that extremely impressive at any level.

Commentary on the bench will be provided on a later date.