The Hell Am I Watching? (Spoiler Free)

We all have those "guilty pleasure" TV shows. Shows like Game of Thrones have developed a professional wrestling-like cult following. Sure, a lot of people enjoy it, but will they admit it? Of course, not! There's even been a rise in adults watching a My Little Pony cartoon. (I do not condone this, by the way, but that is a completely different subject.) At one time, television was consisted of family sitcoms, crime thrillers/mysteries, and the occasional comedic variety show or talk show. But as America and the rest of the world reach a point where having cable television is no longer completely justified, programs like Netflix and Amazon Instant Stream enter the spotlight. And I am loving every minute of it.

As soon as I got a job, the first thing I did was purchase a Netflix account. I rarely have enough time to watch shows as they are on television, so Netflix has turned into a staple of whatever free time I have. So, suggestions from many online forums and comments sections has led me to three shows. 2 of them are critically acclaimed and loved by people of all ages, while the third is looked at as a bit of an oddity among the cartoon-watching-adult community. The first two shows I am speaking of are Avatar: The Last Airbender and Breaking Bad. The third is a bit of a joke, an oddity in that it is a French-made anime, making it, well, simply put, not anime, called Code Lyoko.

I never got to fully enjoy Avatar as a kid, because as an impressionable preteen among other impressionable preteens, I was often teased for still enjoying children's shows. Luckily for me, my 8 year old nephew gave me a reason to watch this show, and I cannot thank him enough for giving me some kind of excuse for being into such a show. There are so many plot twists and so many little details put into this show. There are many fan-made timelines and stories from this show's universe that it is absolutely crazy. The show does an amazing job of creating a semi-realistic culture and civilization out of something that, in and of itself, has no business being described as "realistic." What I love most about this show, though, is that despite being a kids show, it takes itself seriously. Nothing is spoiled, and it is a show that one cannot truly enjoy without watching every episode in order.

Breaking Bad is another fantastic show, although I still have a difficult time taking Brian Cranston seriously. I keep expecting Hal from Malcolm in the Middle to show up a some point, but it never happens. Honestly, the best way I can describe the way this show messes with my head is by comparing it to Batman Begins/The Dark Knight/The Dark Knight Rises. Watching Cranston slowly go insane, and slowly become intrenched deep within the realm of the black market is hypnotic, and ever so addicting.

Code Lyoko is weird as hell. That is really the only thing I can say about it. It features a lot of deaths, a lot scientific mumbo-jumbo, most of which is actually well researched upon further inspection. Even better, in a show that features many demonic possessions and many deaths and plague, the name of it's creator is Christopher Benoit. This kind of stuff cannot be made up. I should say though, for anyone who plans on watching this show, you will feel differently about a lot of the content than I do. A friend of mine is also going through every episode, and his opinions are the direct opposite of mine at this point in time.

So, these are just a few recommendations I have for anyone who wants to enjoy their free time by watching television. As always, opinions differ from person to person, but I really feel as if all 3 of these shows are enjoyable. That being said, I at least gave parents two good ideas for bearable shows for their children to watch that are not the insufferable crap that is on Disney Channel or Nickelodeon.

Bear's QB Past, Bulls sign Nate Rob, and other shameful topics

For years, the Bears have been a bit of a laughing stock on offense. Rex Grossman. Josh McCown. Cade McNown, Drunken Jim Miller. Kordell Stewart. Kyle Orton, to a lesser extent. Caleb Hanie. I mean, damn, how hard was it for the Bears to pick up a decent quarterback along the way? The last Bears quarterback that does not make me ashamed to be a fan of the Bears (other than Jay Cutler) is Jim Harbaugh, and I am not going to say that he was a great quarterback in Chicago, because he was not. I mean, the Bears started former Ohio State Buckeye Craig Krenzel at quarterback for a few games! Even my Ohio State-homer friend admits that Krenzel was but a tattoo on Ohio State's great tradition of quarterbacks.

So yes, the Ghost of Quarterbacks Past basically says that the Bears are not allowed to have a competent quarterback. That is, until the fallout from the Josh McDaniels/Jay Cutler feud. All of a sudden, a semi-star was begging to be traded, to get a new beginning, and the Bears were coming off the heels of an over-achieving era of awful quarterbacks (Grossman and Orton) and amazing defense. Finally, it seemed, the Bears would have a quarterback that is not a well known alcoholic (Jim Miller), is not considered over the hill (Kordell Stewert, Josh McCown), is not an underachieving "potential-star" (Sexy Rexy), and more importantly, is not a relative unknown going into the season who is getting playing time because of multiple injuries (Kyle Orton, Caleb Hanie, Nathan Enderle, Craig Krenzel). What a painful paragraph this was.

Cutler is coming into his fourth season with the Bears, and it finally seems like Bears fans and fans around the league are accepting him, even if he is a douche-bag. He has been re-united with long-time quarterbacks coach Jeremy Bates, and Cutler's favorite option at wide-out in Brandon Marshall. For the first time since Jim McMahon, the Bears have a respectable aerial attack. The offensive line is still a large question mark, but when hasn't it been? The Bears' line has sucked ever since I was old enough to read the stats rolling across the bottom of my TV screen.

All of this being said, for the first time in my life, I am excited for football season. The Bears are looking fantastic, along with the rest of the league. The unpredictability that I love about the NBA and college basketball and football has somehow seeped into the NFL, and this season looks like it will shape up to be an amazing one, maybe the best of the last 20 years. Actually writing this has me more excited than I was before.

On to another topic, I heard the other day that the Bulls had signed former New York Knicks guard Nate Robinson. Now, I love Nate. I just do not want him on my team, at all. He has little-man syndrome. I can definitely see him pulling a Jamal Crawford this year. Although, he could be instant offense off the bench when they need him, so that is a plus.

The Cubs are losing constantly right now, as I expected. It is good to see Rizzo contribute the way he has, and I'm sure there will be improvements in both Brett Jackson and Josh Vitters. I am not saying that they are the future, but they will be important position players if the Cubs ever want to leave the cellar of the NL Central, and officially stop being, as Chicago legend and folk-singer Steve Goodman would put it, "The Doormat of the National League."

Mike's Long, Depressing Summer

From a life perspective, this has probably been the best summer of my life. I finally have a job, the Cubs are not as bad as I expected (still bad), I finally got around to getting Netflix (watching it as I speak), and I have not broken anything at my new job yet. From a sports standpoint?

Awful.

Pitiful.

Depressing.

Disappointing.

Catastrophic.

I could think of many other words to describe how this half year in sports feels to me, but none of them truly show how I really feel. The Cubs are cellar dwellers, and things do not exactly seem to be looking up, depending on what they can get for Dempster and Garza. The Sox are having their best year since 2005, making the local sports stations unbearable to listen to or watch, with all their nut-riding. The Bulls... I cannot talk about this without tearing up(Neither can Derrick's ACL). Fact of the matter is, Derrick Rose could be out for a very long time, and even when he gets back, it will not be the same. Korver is gone, Watson is gone, Asik is probably gone. The Bulls are going into next season with Captain Kirk penciled in as the starting point guard, random old guy #3959 at shooting guard, and who the hell knows if Deng will still be in Chicago by the time the season starts. The only sure things are Joakim and Boozer, and Scal. I know, Scal alone can win us a ring, but I am worried about getting him more help. Dwight Howard will not be the answer. I am not sure about him anymore, not with the drama that he has caused in Orlando.

Now, I would be all for the Bulls signing a few young free agents. I have always been a fan of Terrence Williams, despite him being, as most players on the Sacremento Kings were last year, a black hole on offense. But I really feel that Thibs could turn his career around, and turn an insanely athletic swingman into one of the better defenders into the league. Thibs seems to have that kind of effect on players. There goes my only real idea for the Bulls.

It is way too hot outside, and I have most of this week off, so by all means, anyone who is reading this, get at me and talk to me. I really need to be writing more often.

 

Mike's Postseason Roundup and Ramblings

I'm typing this as I watch Game 1 of the NBA Finals. It's the 4th quarter with 2 minutes left, and here are some of the things that have crossed my mind while watching.


-Watching the Heat right now is painful. I really do feel bad for them. They look old. Lebron looks old, Wade looks elderly, it's just crazy. They aren't that old. They look exactly how the Spurs should have looked. They better pick it up. As much as I hate the Heat, I am a fan of the game, and I want 7 games of good basketball.

-Durant looks amazing tonight. So does Westbrook. However, I do not appreciate hearing about how much better Westbrook is than Rondo. This just is not true. I have never watched Westbrook and thought about him as a once in a lifetime player. He is no such thing. He is yet another incarnation of the Allen Iverson/Steve Francis/Stephon Marbury/Baron Davis/Derrick Rose evolutionary line. I love watching Westbrook play, but Rondo brings things to the table that I cannot even begin to explain. 


-One thing I love about the Thunder is the thing I hate about the Bulls: free throws. The Thunder make their free throws! It is amazing to watch! Derrick Rose may be clutch, but when it comes to finishing from the line, he is worse than Lebron, and deserves the heckling that Lebron gets. The difference is in the way that Rose carries himself. Rose will work hard to fix his faults. The same thing cannot be stated about Lebron.


-15 points in the 4th for Durant? That's impressive. He really is in a great position to rule the next decade. I look forward to watching it. I'm hoping Nikola Mirotic is some sort of God-send. I don't see the Bulls ever getting passed the Thunder without some sort of divine intervention.


-In my opinion, the Spurs were the most dangerous team throughout the entire NBA during the playoffs, and the fact that the Thunder were able to take care of them shows me that they should be able to handle a some-what more divided and less balanced Heat team. That said, I am not underestimating the Heat. I know of the damage that Lebron and Wade can and will do throughout the series. I'm hoping for a classic 7 game series. That is not what game 1 seemed to foreshadow, but things can change. The score is still going to be 0-0 at the start of game 2. 


-How much can it take for Spo to get canned? They'd be better off with Vinny Del *gets shot*

TV Show Characters = NBA Players?

Recently, an article written by Grantland's "The Masked Man" (David Shoemaker) caught my attention. He was creating comparisons between NBA players and WWE Superstars (not wrestlers, damn it! [this is sarcasm]). The idea for the article was solid at best, but the execution was greatly flawed. No disrespect to him, I usually enjoy his writing, but this piece was not impressive in the least. However, it did give me a great idea. Instead of comparing the NBA and WWE, how about I do something a little bit bigger? How about comparing NBA players to some TV characters? The moment I came up with this topic, I immediately thought of several comparisons.

Lebron and Dwyane Wade = The 2 Gay Guys from Modern Family

Just kidding.

Lebron = Spongebob Squarepants

No. Really. He is. Stop laughing! Think about it. When Spongebob first showed up, he was loved by many and hated by few. After many seasons, Spongebob is rarely funny, and the children that once loved him have grown up, and now despise him in the newer episodes. Doesn't that sound like Lebron? Everyone loved him when he first came into the league. Then progressively as his career went on, he started to garner a lot of hate. If that does not sound like Spongebob, I do not have a clue as to what does.

Kobe = Will Smith in Fresh Prince

Kobe reminds me of watching the Fresh Prince re-runs every morning as I get ready for school; he has been doing it for so long, its like watching re-runs. And I love it every time. When all is said and done, Kobe will not be considered the greatest of all time; there is no surpassing MJ; but he will be considered the greatest Laker of all time, and he will be a top 2 player. He refuses to slow down, just like Fresh Prince is still funny to me, 16 years after it got canceled. Even more of a coincidence? Kobe entered the league at the same time Fresh Prince got canceled. I am a genius.

Dwyane Wade = Jerry Seinfeld

Wade has not been as great as he normally is this season, but people keep waiting and watching for him to return to that mode he always gets in. This is similar to Seinfeld. Did anyone watch Seinfeld because it was funny? Probably not. They watched it because everyone knew Jerry Seinfeld had the potential to be funny, just like people watch Wade because he has the potential to methodically destroy any team.

Derrick Rose = Aang

For those of you who don't remember Avatar: The Last Airbender, it was a show that started coming on around the time I entered junior high, got postponed because Nickelodeon thought it might be too violent for children, then came back on 2 years later on a satellite only channel that I do not get. So, it did take me awhile to finish the series, but the similarities between Derrick Rose and Aang, especially this postseason, are uncanny. What makes me think of these two as similar? At the beginning of the show, Aang shows up unexpectedly, the savior of a war-torn world. Who expected the Bulls to get Derrick Rose? Aang meets up with Katara (Joakim Noah) and Sokka (Luol Deng). This sounded better in my head. Hell, you can even make the argument that the Heat are similar to the Fire Nation, with Lebron being Azula and Wade being Ozai. I miss this show. Luckily, there's a new season of it! Your welcome, Nickolodeon, I just informed my readers (all 2 of them) about your new show. That's free advertising. Consider us even.

San Antonio Spurs = The Big Bang Theory

Only the educated will enjoy watching them.

Stephen A. Smith = Eric Cartman

Seriously, nobody likes you. Go away. You make Skip Bayless' arguments make sense. Screaming does not make your point.

Watching Erik Spoelstra Coach is Unbearable

How does a man like Erik Spoelstra get a job? Has a team ever won with a doormat of a coach? Honestly, there were, and still are, better options for a coach. But who cares about that? They have the ever-wonderful superstars Lebron James and Dwyane Wade! That should be enough to conquer the lowly Pacers, right? Wrong.

The case has been the same for the Heat all season: when Lebron can take over, they are unstoppable. This comes to no surprise. He is, after all, the best player in the world currently. When do the Heat lose? Its when an up and coming coach like Frank Vogel outcoaches Erik Spoelstra. This should surprise no one. I knew Spoelstra was a bad choice to begin with. He was a video coordinator. That's the same job I did for a high school team my junior year. That means absolutely nothing to me, that he did the same for an NBA team. (I guarantee you, his commentary was not nearly as entertaining. My topics ranged anywhere from actually talking about the game (when they were playing a close game) to Pokemon (when they were getting blown out) to other things that are unrelated to basketball)

The reason I feel so strongly about Spoelstra is the fact that he is just an awful coach. If he was coaching my kid's high school team I would be worried. He obviously cannot handle egos, and that is what high school coaching is: handling egos. This man is coaching a professional basketball team that features two players who are as arrogant as any high school student. I personally know adult coaches that could do a better job of handling people like Lebron and Wade. As an aspiring coach (and journalist), watching Spoelstra is painful. If these are the guys that are getting the big jobs, where does that leave me? Hell, where does that leave the potentially great coaches that actually have gone to school in order to coach high school ball (and P.E.)? I know dozens of coaches throughout this area just from watching my high school team from the bench. There are a few of them that leave my head scratching. Teams with all the athletic ability and skill in the world, just not a good enough coach to win. And then I see coach Spo.

He looks frightened; like a car salesman who finds out he needs to sell a Ferrari to someone who thinks the dealership will take his Link card to keep his job. Coaching frightened is something that will never work. Phil Jackson is known as the Zen Master; he does not get rattled, he does not get frightened. He does the job he needs to do. Spo just doesn't! Besides, any NBA coach that believes the "zone offense" is actually a zone offense needs to be replaced immediately. Pat Riley needs to find a new coach immediately; the Heat will not succeed with Spo. There is also a good possibility that they cannot succeed with Dwyane Wade, but that is a story for another time.

PS: I should not have linked to Bl00dblitz, my night is now gone.

Song of the Day: Dropkick Murphys- Never Alone

Lebron Hate Is Too Extreme

I get it, I'm not suppose to like Lebron. I'm a Bulls fan, he plays for the Heat. That's cool. But honestly, why hate him? Because The Decision was possibly my generation's Kennedy Assassination? Because he left a team that has a well-documented history of having a terrible owner and a terrible GM? A team that had one of the worst coaches in the league? (Sorry, Lakers fans, I really feel for you there. Shaw's looking really good right now, ain't he?) Lebron may have not made the right decision in going to Miami. Dwyane Wade looks more broken down every time I see him. Chris Bosh is streaky, and can be fantastic at times, but his play can be absolutely deplorable at times. What else does the Heat have? James Jones? Mike Miller? Mario Chalmers has improved, but he definitely should not be their answer to play point guard. Spoelstra might be a worse coach than Mike Brown! But despite all of these things, Lebron turns this team into a legitimate title threat. Without him, they aren’t nearly as dangerous. They just aren’t.

It even seems like Lebron is beginning to understand all of this. Recently, he talked about a possible return to Cleveland. I know, it doesn’t mean much, but he talked about it, and that’s what matters. Besides, listen to the way he talks about players around the league. You can question his heart, you can question his confidence, but you cannot question that this guy tries his hardest to think the best of the other guys around the league. Ever hear him talk about Derrick Rose? He sounds like he’s the little brother trying to get acknowledged. And he doesn’t just do that with D-Rose. I’ve heard him do it with Kobe, Kevin Durant, Steve Nash (who knows? Maybe the Heat’s point guard next year. By the way, if he is, I want them to win. Steve deserves a ring.), and several other players around the league. He wants to be accepted. He wants to be loved. And it just isn’t happening.

Everywhere I read online is full of people bashing Lebron, saying how he quits, saying he’s a jackass, saying he’s this, saying he’s that. I don’t think he’s a quitter. In fact, the numbers show he isn’t. Sure, I have come up with a LOT of 4^th quarter jokes, but it’s all in good fun, I have no extreme amount of hate for him. I do find his “celebration” party at the beginning of his first Heat season ridiculous and unforgiveable, but you have to remember: Lebron has the mentality of a child. He wants to be accepted, he wants to be like everyone else. His mind isn’t built like MJ’s, Larry’s, Magic’s, or even Clyde Drexler’s. The only player I can think of that had a similar mentality was Chris Webber. Lebron is never going to develop a killer instinct because he won’t need one. Dwyane Wade has it, he’s the guy who will take the last shot. People can get upset all they want that Lebron doesn’t want the last shot, but he doesn’t need to take it, so why should he? Maybe once Dwyane Wade retires, Lebron will understand. Honestly, the way Lebron gets run ragged throughout the season, I’m more worried about him turning into an extremely rich man’s Grant Hill. Please hope I’m wrong. I hate the Heat, but I don’t want to be robbed of the chance to see a once in a lifetime player. Hate the Heat, don’t hate Lebron.